Admiring my own systems

andrewtsao  •  14 Jan 2022   •  

Sometimes I like to take a step back and really take the time and marvel at the systems I’ve created for myself. I like when I notice that I’m slipping away and somehow the mechanisms I have designed in my system anticipate it and quickly bring me back to myself. I like how it’s conducive to making me feel more patient rather than shameful. I like that it’s adaptable, even though it’s built on rigid and strong values around consistency and tried and true methods, it still leaves room to adapt based on the day, mood, and even uncontrollable variables. I like that it brings me joy, like a favorite piece of furniture. I like that it’s the result of years of experimentation, of intentional design, and just iterations and iterations of failure. I like that it’s mine and I’m also beginning to realize there’s value in helping others find their own. I like that my system, despite not being actually sentient, is kind to me and takes care of me when things feel like they’re falling apart or out of control.