A trick for relationship anxiety

andrewtsao  •  8 Jun 2023   •    

The past couple of days have been a little challenging and it’s mostly because my partner has not been feeling the best. Whenever I am not doing something completely up to her standards, or make a mistake around the home, I’ve noticed how much more reactive she is. At first, it felt like she was just having a few off days, but then I could feel resentment slowly building on both our ends, and it eventually culminated into a big fight that basically ruined both our days.

Today she shared with me a video that talked about this trick that will allow me to better tackle problems like these in the future. The trick is simply asking the partner, “Where is your heart at right now?” In response, he or she does not have to say a single word, all they need to do, is to hold up their hand to their heart and use their hand to signal how “closed” or “open” their heart is. If “closed”, you can simply hold a fist. If “open” the hand completely open, or even have it face outward to further indicate you are open and ready to give and receive. Why this has been a game-changer because if one is indicating that he or she is “closed” it means that it doesn’t mean that he or she doesn’t love you or want to show you affection, is that they are not in the mental state or energy frequency to maybe be that person for you.

As a quick test, I asked my partner where her heart is at, and she immediately holds up a fist. That signal alone was able to indicate to me that I need to be more patient and I notice myself being able to take other comments she share for the rest of the day less personally.

Give it a try if you ever notice your partner is not having the best day/week/ or even month! Onwards!