An election like none other

Like many other people worldwide, I recently became obsessed with a small UK election. I’m talking, of course, about the Clacton by-election between Count Binface and an embattled MP hoping to regain the seat he had willfully abandoned as a “cunning stunt”. The MP triggered the election after the UK Parliament asked him, “Hey, what’s up with this 5-million pounds you received from this crypto-billionaire?” He resigned, not out of shame, but in order to hold some kind of trial-by-election. But no other major party stood for election, seeing it as a farce, so he was left to run against a collection of satirical candidates, like members of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party and one space warrior, Count Binface.

Apparently the UK has a long tradition of novelty candidates running in elections because there is also a long tradition of candidates standing side-by-side when the election results are announced. It pokes a bit of fun when the serious candidates have to stand next to a man in a giant hat, someone else in a fox costume, and a becaped man with a rubbish bin on his head.

The Count’s interviews are usually hilarious. He’s very quick on his feet and well-prepared. He has a manifesto that keeps getting more-and-more satirical to the point that they’re actually reasonable. For example, he promises to build at least one affordable house. Which, to be honest, is more than most politicians manage.

So I was up late last night watching the counting of the votes live. In the end the MP won back his seat that, again, he purposely gave up. I watched everything he had triggered, the people who had to stay up until six in the morning UK time to count ballots with over 30 candidates. Apparently it cost about 250k pounds to run the election. And when it came time to announce the winner, the MP did not even show up for the announcement of his victory citing “security concerns,” by which he meant his own insecurity at being mocked.

There really wasn’t much chance for Binface to win in a mostly senior, mostly white constituency. I stayed awake just long enough to hear how many votes Count Binface received and calculate the percentage. A man with a bin on his head won 27% of the vote.

Oh, and after the election the Parliamentary investigation into the MP resumed. They still want to know why a crypto-billionaire “gifted” him 5-million pounds. So if that goes badly for him, he may face a recall election rather soon, and Count Binface may return to fight another day.