Anxiety - the throbbing bassline to the songs of our lives
This was a a quote I came up with earlier after reading an article about how so many people suffer from this debilitating problem. I am not immune to this and find that my world is full of worries that just don’t seem to go away. Not that I appear to be an anxious person, but I do think there is an underlying issue. You might call it “general anxiety” I guess.
My mind is constantly filled with worries about my health, money, family and career. I agonise over whether washing a teaspoon under the tap to re-use it will cause me to waste more water than just getting a new one out of the drawer and then putting both in the dishwasher. I know the answer. Dishwashers are more energy and water efficient than hand-washing dishes even if it is only 75% full. But it still plays on my mind.
I have anxiety of what I will do when or if I retire. Will I have enough money, good enough health, time to enjoy my rest? Or will I still be cooking and cleaning for my 30-year old kids who won’t be able to afford to move out? Not to mention the odd dose of terror about my own mortality.
The world seems such a divided, uncertain place right now. What I knew as a 20 year old just isn’t valid any more. I need to stop seeing the world through my 1990’s eyes. It’s not easy to find a good job or move into a house with your friends or partner. Things all feel a bit fucked right now.
That’s another sign of underlying general anxiety: a feeling that something is just off or wrong. I can definitely identify with that.
I think I have general anxiety too. Especially since covid. Things not been the same since.