Concrete
Twizzle • 7 Jul 2025 •
I spent most of yesterday feeling down and moping about. I got things done, did our usual Sunday long walk, but there was a constant and pervasive underlying low mood I couldn’t shake. I know what caused it, but I don’t want to write about it here. It’s probably stupid and I also probably deserve to feel this way (so I keep telling myself).
I can still feel it this morning and it reminds me of that feeling you get when you exhale or breathe out as much as you can, getting to the very last of the air in your lungs. The pressure it creates in your chest as you can’t push out anything else is something akin to how I feel when I am in this mood. The air inside me has been replaced by concrete, slowly trickling into my body, solidifying.
The weight sitting on my chest makes it hard to move, think or reason. I just stumble through the day, not able to take that full breath, pushed in and squashed down by what is on my mind. I know I will be able to shake it off, suppress it, compartmentalise it, disassociate myself from it and add it to the ignore pile. Its not a healthy coping strategy, but it keeps me operational.
Comments
Thank you Sensei Haider. When I was really in my depressive state, I wasn’t as aware of how I was feeling or why. Noticing my feelings makes a huge different to how I react to them
I suppressed my emotions for many, many years. It led to other emotions bursting out or me breathing shallowly without realizing that I’m in chronic fight or flight mode. Learning to work with our emotions is a huge dimension to a healthy, happy life. ❤️
I find it useful to consider all my emotions as worthy of being present and acknowledged. No emotion is stupid. It may not be productive, but it deserves respect and recognition. I listen to my emotions and what they try to tell me, then I invite them to join me in achieving the outcome I want or help me transition to the state I want.
So I would sit with the low mood. Allow it to express itself and feel accepted. Then I’d say: I’d like to not stay in this low mood for a long time. Can we do that? Would it be ok with you if we started feeling more energetic and enthusiastic?
If there’s some resistance, that’s ok. The emotion still wants to feel something or say something. Maybe it wants me to understand a situation better. So I sit with it and invite it again to help me reach the state I want.
It usually helps.
Best of luck resolving your feelings. ❤️