Loneliness

After a breakup, a loss, or a big transformation, one can feel very alone.
Either because no one is there physically with you, or because you don’t feel like your friends truly understand what you’re going through.
Others might be busy and not be able to hold space for you, to truly listen and be present.
You might feel an emotional loneliness. As a society, we’re facing a loneliness epidemic.

So what to do with this sometimes overwhelming feeling of loneliness?

First, it helps to know that it’s an inevitable human feeling and accept it.
Your brain can miss the dose of oxytocin release. Research shows that lonely people die earlier. So you don’t need to gaslight yourself and downplay your experience. Loneliness can truly hurt.

Second, know that the feeling won’t last forever. Your life will change. Chances are good that you’ll meet new friends.

Third, microinteractions can help. Eg when travelling, talking with others at the breakfast buffet, or making people a compliment on the street, or starting a conversation by remarking on a shared experience like a sunset.

Fourth, group activities can help, like singing or dancing together. Research shows that our heart rates align when we sing with other people.

Fifth, helping other people can make you forget about your own problems, eg volunteering for an organisation.

Sixth, a therapeutic space can help, eg with a therapist who listens or helps you move through feelings and connect with your power again.

And lastly: if you don’t abandon yourself, you’re never truly alone,
but one with yourself.

And that’s where the word “Einsamkeit” (German for loneliness) actually comes from: to be one with oneself.

Wishing you and us to feel connected with ourselves and others.