Love as leverage

I was considering how love and other relationships based upon mutual regard affect authority. On one hand they extend authority. This is something we can see on the sidewalk when an individual steps aside for two people walking side-by-side. The people who take up the most space yield the least.

On the other hand, mutuality increases a person’s surface area. Authority can travel through relationships. A good example comes from Anne of Green Gables. In one scene Anne accidentally gets her friend Diana drunk on currant wine, mistaking it for a different non-alcoholic drink. Because of this Diana’s mother, Mrs. Barry, forbids Diana to ever play with Anne again.

Because Anne cares about Diana, Anne’s misery affects her guardian Marilla, who cares about Anne’s happiness and feels partly responsible for the mistake. Marilla then visits Mrs. Barry, and kowtows to her to ask for leniency. Mrs. Barry digs in her heels and scolds Marilla for making currant wine and keeping it in her house. Mrs. Barry is able to convert her authority over her daughter Diana into leverage over Anne, and Marilla by association.

Relationships simply expand the boundary of who we consider as ourselves or alongside our own concerns. Mutuality creates networks that increase our authority, but also expose more surface area for others to leverage authority over us.