Negative self-talk

Negative self-talk reinforces negative feelings. But it’s not all bad, since it also gives form to our implicit theories or self-limiting beliefs. And as authors, we can start to learn the language of cognitive distortions.

“I am a terrible writer.” Ah, that’s personilization. We are expecting to write something bad and we are personalizing the experience of writing something crappy.

“I never finish things.” Ah, that’s black and white thinking. I’m not acknowledging there’s gradations between always doing something and never doing it.

For some people these cognitive distortions can turn into intrusive thoughts. For others (like me) they may not manifest as speech. But even then I can take a moment to write and those distortions will suddenly appear. And as a writer I can understand the importance of precision and clarity in my language. If I catch myself saying I ALWAYS, it might be time to let my inner critic step in and ask, “Really? Always?”

Really though, the point isn’t necessarily to fix these distortions, but become aware of them as stories I am telling myself. And as a story, I may find it hard to let go of them until the conclusion.

But this is where I have the most power as a storyteller. Why not take a moment to think of some alternative stories? And maybe next time I won’t jump for that original story I was telling myself again and again.

“Sometimes I don’t finish things, but other times I do and it feels great.”

“Sometimes I write crap, but it often becomes the basis for better writing.”