The nightmare

Yesterday, I jumped ahead to a later season of Kitchen Nightmares, and I was surprised to find the show was very formulaic to the point that the episode no longer contained what I find most interesting, the nuanced analysis of a failing business. It mostly amps up the screaming and disgust in the first half, and makes the fix about the remodel, with donated products that are name-dropped and lingered upon by the camera. By that point in the production timeline Ramsey was being air-lifted and dropped into each episode location with a whole team surrounding him and insulating him.

This is the life cycle of a TV show. The formula that used to be the seasoning becomes the centerpiece, and the real heart of the dish gets pushed to the side and eventually off the plate.

I find myself wondering if I’ve done that here with Lifelog. What was meant to be a floor – a base of 100 words I publish each day – has become my ceiling. Most days I post here and then I stop. There’s nothing wrong with the habit of posting here, but I’m not using it right. I should be using it as a springboard into more writing.

I don’t have too many nightmares that I remember, but sometimes a dream will disturb me so much I wake myself up. This morning I dreamed I had cut off my own fingers and was looking for a keyboard to check if I could still type with my knuckle-stubs. That woke me up and I immediately wiggled my fingers in front of my face, relieved my digits were still digital. I’m still horrified by the memory as I type this. Obviously, my dream is influenced by my dad recently losing a couple more of his toes. But, I find it interesting that my first thought in the dream was writing.

Thankfully, I still have my fingers. But have I let my writing become too formulaic by focusing too much on the 100-word streak? My broader writing life used to be the centerpiece, but have I let the daily post here push it off the plate?

The problem isn’t that I post here. It’s that I post and then I stop. I’ve let the formula of 100 daily words satisfy my urge to write.