Twilight

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tao  •  14 May 2024   •    
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I slept right through last night without waking. I even felt quite refreshed after the alarm went off, not sluggish or wanting to stay in bed any longer.

But within a few hours, I felt tired again. I wanted to go back to bed, or just sit on the sofa and aimlessly scroll on my phone. I didn’t want to do any work, or do the chores I need to get done. Just sitting and doing nothing was preferable. My head hurts, my eyes are blurry and I feel ready for bed.

I looked at the list of tasks I had to do for work. Emails to send, phone calls to make, issues to react to. Add to that the personal list of plumbers to contact or vacuuming to get done. My brain stopped me from doing any of them. As soon as I thought about doing one, my mind went blank, or threw up a wall or block to prevent me from doing it. Rather than going to the action zone, my brain took me to the twilight zone.

But. I can write here for 10 minutes - that doesn’t feel like a chore or too much effort. Perhaps I am just burned out today.

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