Understanding Negativity

andrewtsao  •  13 Sept 2021

Sometimes negativity is insidious.
Just when you think it has floated away off the horizon, just a simple speck of spark can bring it right back and you find yourself staring at the engulfing flames that consume some of the most important things that keep us wanting to move forward. Things like productivity, optimism, gratitude, and even just general well-being seem like the first things that get burned away. Sometimes the flame gets so hot, that being the stillness of water that you acquire through acts of stepping away or even meditation seems to only have the capacity to dull it to an ember. This ember can stay dormant for an entire day, a week, a month, but just the right combination of friction and gasoline can cause the inferno to appear again just like that; sometimes bigger than the previous incident.

Writing as I’m processing negative emotions has taught me something. It’s easier to write about it when you can grasp and feel the ocean of emotions that is so obscure, but writing while you’re in it is an attempt to capture it slightly. Understanding also makes me feel better about it. A reminder to myself: the next time I have intense emotions bubbling up, I will hop onto Obsidian to try to capture it with words.