A decade to learn a lesson
jasonleow • 8 Oct 2024 •
If you done something for ten years, put in deliberate practiced but yet never quite settled into it, it’s pretty obvious that the thing was never meant for you.
That’s the conclusion I’m drawing from how teaching/training as an income stream is for me.
Just yesterday, after one full day of conducting said training, I had a massive migraine, body aches, and exhausted af. The few days leading up to the actual session was increasingly amounts of dread, and equal part anxiety.
And it’s not for the lack of effort or mindset. For the past ten years I threw myself into it to get better over the past decade. I committed myself to the role and my obligations, despite my comfort zone. I did get better, more skilled at delivering content, facilitating the activities, telling a personal story or joke here and there. I dare say, I gave it a more than good enough go at it. My conscience is clear. But at the end of the day, it’s still totally not me. Everything I have to do feels forced. I’m like, trying to squeeze out wine from rocks, and it’s a miracle I could even do it in the first place. A sheer act of will. I just like to do the work as a practitioner, like consulting, not teach. And every time I had to teach, the same experience unfolds.
In fact, thinking back, I shouldn’t need to have taken this long. A fking decade? Even a few years feels too long.
Good that I’m leaving the industry.
A decade to learn a lesson is too much, and I’m not spending any more grey years on this. Once my teaching commitments are complete this year, it’s hasta la vista baby.
(In fact why even stay till end of this year. Why can’t I just drop them now… 🤔)
Comments
Interesting how you both pointed out the anxiety build-up leading up to a training session. For me, it’s all excitement.
record down and sell it online, do once sell multiple times lol
@haideralmosawi I’m almost allergic to that anxiety build up at this point!
@therealbrandonwilson Yeah this difference is why I say I’m truly not built for teaching
@knight These are live workshops for clients… I wish can just record once and use that forever haha! But maybe I should just do it once anyway as a separate product
ya and put on those teaching platform -> another passive income
I love teaching and giving workshops, although there are aspects that I still don’t feel like I’m good at. But I’m still turning down giving workshops and talks this year because I know they fill me with too much anxiety in the build up towards the session. That’s part of the experience I don’t like, especially with new content or new environments where I have to assess the culture to determine what’s appropriate and what’s expected of me.