A different body

First time back to Bali after five years. I thought it would have a sense of homecoming, but it couldn’t be more starkly different.

Things that used to enthrall me, no longer do.
Things I loved to eat, no longer tasted the same.
Things I enjoyed hanging around, no longer feel as fun.

I feel like a different reincarnation, a different person in a different body, coming back to Bali with disembodied memories of someone else.

The body remembers.
The body kept the score.
But the self is gone.

What a strange out-of-the-body experience.

My close friend told me, maybe it’s not that. Maybe there just isn’t much out there that’s motivating and drawing me out.

Different life stage.
Different season.
Different priorities.
Different expectations.
Different likes.
Different needs.

Before, my world was boundlessly outwards.
Now, my world is my home, my family, my work.

And it’s okay.

Stating the obvious: We can like different things as we grow in not just with age but identity and self.

Just have to realise when to hold on, when to let go.