Deconstructive inner work

I talked about why I want to destroy my limiters:

I want to destroy all these things holding me back. And I’ll do whatever it takes to get it. Ruthlessly. And I’m furious for sure. Furious at everything holding me back, myself included. I want to stare at all the pain right at the face, and from it, rise even taller and bigger, with a comeback: “Is that all you’ve got?” I’m going to rage win.

But what’s exactly holding me back? What are the limiting beliefs, doubts, worries that I need to DESTROY?

❌ Marketing: That I can’t and don’t like doing marketing, selling and self-promoting.
❌ Saying no: Finding it hard to say no, especially to people I’m close to.
❌ Being effective: The stress response of hunkering down and blindly grinding, instead of stepping back, getting perspective, and doing what’s truly moves the needle.
❌ Guilt: Guilt of not being good or present enough as a dad, husband, son. This is a big one.

How does one destroy these? Through inner work. By practising day-to-day mindfulness and catching myself when I think those thoughts, not responding with my habitual responses, or responding in a better, more helpful way, updating it with new self-talk, changing it to a new, better belief, or simply just, not doing anything:

✅ Marketing: Just do marketing. Do it often. Do it daily. Do it shamelessly. Do it till it hurts no more.
✅ Saying no: Think about nice ways to reject people. And visualize that, more often than not, people won’t feel hurt or dejected if you say no. They got their own shit to deal with, and more likely I’m imagining it.
✅ Being effective: Anytime I feel like I’m stressed, I should stand up, walk around, and muse over it. Better yet, go for a walk. Do low intensity, movement activities. Try and be objective and see reality as it is, to make better decisions.
✅ Guilt: Anytime the guilt comes up in its various forms, catch myself. Accept it, let it be there, don’t guilt-trip myself for having it, and just observe it till it fades. Then say or act on a better approach.

I say destroy, but what it really is is deconstruct. Demolish, then rebuild back.

Got my (inner) work cut out this year…