Discipline is the highest form of self-love

Discipline is a bit of a pet topic for me. I come from an athletic background in school, so being disciplined (about training) comes naturally to me. Most people don’t like that word. They don’t like what that word entails or mirrors back to them. But I absolutely love it. I love what it did for me and my life. I love exploring its nuances, and even after years, I can still uncover new facets to discipline that I never knew.

I previously wrote about how Shane Parrish’s line about how “discipline is cheaper than regret”

Unfortunately, discipline requires a high upfront payment right now, whereas regret is a loan not due in the long term or till old age.

And also Jocko Willink on how discipline equals freedom:

Discipline is freedom because it’s empowering one to achieve freedom from bad habits, poor choices, old, unwholesome way of doing things.

Today it’s something random I saw on the internet:

Discipline is the strongest form of self-love.

That struck me like a bolt of lightning. It’s surprising because we don’t often equate discipline with ‘softer’, maternal qualities like love or self-love. Discipline feels paternalistic, like a drill sergeant or football coach. Discipline is strict, rigourous, tough, but good for you.

But those are stereotypes.

What I got from “discipline is self-love” is that there’s a different side—a higher side—to this simplistic view of paternalistic discipline.

Discipline can be tough but kind.
Discipline can be strict but nurturing.
Discipline can be bitter at the start but sweet at the end.

In fact, isn’t this is also best way to love a child? By not molly-coddling and over-sheltering, but giving the child opportunities to be challenged and to grow, in a safe environment? By not instantly gratifying their every whim and fancy, but letting them know the struggle and rewards of delayed gratification?

Isn’t this way of loving someone else a more mature way of loving?

If you step back and step higher and see discipline from that perspective, then surely:

Discipline is the highest form of self-love.

Discipline is knowing what’s good for you in the long term, and putting yourself through some discomfort right now to get there. You can’t do that if you don’t at least love yourself enough. At least in that kind of love I was talking about.

Discipline is self-love.