How to say "No, thanks"

Saying no had always been hard for me.

While I need to continue to work on that need to be liked all the time by everyone, I find it helps a lot by collecting new ways and approaches to say no politely without pissing off the other guy.

This one came from Dave Asprey (surprise surprise), on my social media feed:

Great to hear from you. Taking a break from networking in person because I’m focusing time on new priorities.

Sincerely wishing you the best on your new project.

I love it.

Simple. To the point. Asserting boundaries by giving an reason. Yet polite and positive.

I often used excuses in the past, giving the usual “I’m busy / Snowed under with work etc” which feels kind of untruthful (thought I’m not lying - I’m really busy!).

A little tweak I learned recently was that I don’t really have to explain myself, or provide a reason for saying no. This was a recent reply to an invite to speak at a conference:

Thanks for the invite. Apologies I’m not available for speaking at this event. All the best for your proceedings.

The part I enjoyed about not having to explain why I declined is that it confronts my need to be liked. I worry that people would not look at me disapprovingly if I didn’t at least give them a good reason. But guess what, most of the time, nobody cares. No one is hurt. They got an answer, and they moved on. I’m the only one who’s still holding on to the fleeting exchange.

And true enough, the other guy replied, “Thanks Jason”. No asking why, no reason was expected.

Saying no is really much easier than it feels.