Impermanence means beginning anew every time

I’m on vacation in Melaka with the fam this weekend. Before kids and pandemic, we used to visit every year, and it’s been five years long years since we last visited. We missed the place.

But most places we had fond memories of, had closed down, deteoriated, or moved. The place we knew was frozen in time, in the past, in our minds. Reality often disappoints. Even the few that had stayed the same, stuck to old traditions, grit through global and local crisis, no longer felt the same.

Because we were no longer the same person from five years ago. Priorities had shifted. Our attention and energy are now directed towards different things, especially that tiny human being tagging alongside us. In the past we would have never bothered with the shopping malls here. But this time, we were relieved to bring him to a space where it isn’t too hot, he can feel safe to run around, and there’s toy shops and playhouses for him. What mattered then doesn’t now. It’s like a brand new me visiting Melaka for the first time, and we’re trying to relive a past live that’s gone.

My wife and I realised, no point trying to hang on to that past by revisiting our old haunts. We can create new—and different—memories with our kid. We can be present to what’s in front of us now, and experience them as we would now.

Impermanence is the only constant. And when faced with change, we can only choose to face each change anew with fresh eyes, always becoming, never static.

Impermanence means beginning anew every time.