Knowing your season

Just this morning, I was carrying my son to school, talking to him, smelling his head. He’s 3 now, and becoming pretty hefty to even carry. Thankfully it’s just a short walk to school. Soon, we’ll need him to walk on his own. Maybe sooner still he will no longer want to be carried. He’s starting to bolt on us when we’re out in malls. It struck me that some day—sooner than later—will be the last time ever I will carry him to school like I’m doing now. And I wouldn’t even know that’s the last time when I’m in that moment. Moments like these in the early years will be gone soon.

The days are long but the years are short.

I want to chase more of such moments now, instead of chasing impressions, followers, revenue. This is the season now, for the former.

Recently a friend on Twitter commented about knowing the season you’re in:

My wife & I remind each other: life is all about seasons. Sometimes you’re learning, sometimes you’re building, sometimes you’re resting, etc. Sometimes she’s leading and I’m supporting & vice versa. It’s important to make sure you’re paying attention to what season(s) you’re in. – @zackgilbert

Love that.

I’m big on self-awareness but this feels different. It’s more about knowing the larger, external context and life stage I’m in, versus the introspective part of what I’m thinking, feeling, worrying, doing. I think I’m pretty self-aware, but more more in the latter, more about the inner mindscape. It’s the former that takes me out of my head and into the real world. And when the former and latter are not in sync, it’s often the cause of much frustration, detours, and mistakes.

I think my frustration with my indie hacker progress is one of them.

I’m in the life stage where I feel 100% certain in my bones that I want to prioritize my presence for my son. Be home more. Be a present father. Less time behind closed doors or working outside, more time with wife and kid doing family stuff.

I also got to work (i.e. consulting) and bring food home. It’s for survival. Yet I also want to succeed with my indie products. It’s a tough juggle, and oftentimes, something’s got to give. I will not be able to dedicate enough time and attention to everything.

So between family, food (through work), and indie hacking, it’s often indie hacking that gets sacrificed, because the first two are non-negotiables.

Knowing and accepting that reality—that between the 3, I can only really do 2 well—is the key to the point about knowing your season. If I accept it, then it’s only natural that progress with my indie products will be slow. I got to have more realistic expectations of my progress, even if I still try hard to make them succeed. When I get too greedy and want them all is when I lose perspective of this larger picture and allow an opening for the frustration and stress of not moving fast enough to get to me.

Knowing which season one is in is a skill… which I often forget.

But a skill that I want to get better in now.

Now that I wrote this.
Now that I know.