Love, but expect

I’ve always thought the best kind of love, to love unconditionally, means having zero expectations of the person. I thought it was the right way to love. Because why let them experience the burden of what you expect and want of them? There’s enough (misguided) expectations from society already. Let them be free… or so I thought.

To love unconditionally is also to love with healthy expectations.

Because if you truly care about someone, you care that they grow, they get better, stronger, wiser. And the reality is, people always end up trying to live up to the expectations on them. Teachers will know. If you tell the kid from the last class he will amount to nothing, he will indeed end up that way. Same with parents with kids. Same with anyone you love and care about.

If you expect nothing, they not have that healthy exchange of energy with you.
If you expect nothing, it’s like you don’t love them. You don’t care.

The best teachers, coaches and friends I had were the ones who saw something in me, desired for me to grow, expected more from me. It ain’t always comfortable to be honest, but it usually ended up being beneficial to me.

Caveat of course, expect within limits. Healthy expectations, realistic expectations, out of loving kindness and empathy and understanding of what they themselves want too. Not expectations out of selfishness.

So yes, to love unconditionally is also to love with healthy expectations.

Love, but expect.