Right growth

I’ve always thought self-growth is about being open to new experiences, challenging yourself to try new things, or even learn from difficult people or arseholes. There’s always a lesson to be learned, I thought.

But lately I’ve been thinking… A growth mindset, a teachable attitude, an open mind, is all good, but there’s always a but. Because unchecked virtue extends into vice. Like being thrifty is good, but too much thrift and you become stingy. Being brave is good, but too much courage can lead to recklessness.

So what’s the but for growth mindset? One with boundaries. Not all lessons and people are created equal. Some are just bad people, bad luck, bad experiences. We don’t have to bear with it just because there’s a higher teaching. Sometimes you just ignore and walk away without any take-aways.

Sometimes you don’t want to—don’t have to—change in that aspect, nor see the need to.
Sometimes, you can say, no, this isn’t me. This isn’t what I value. I don’t need to suck it up.

Sometimes, you don’t need to change yourself, but they should be the ones to change.

Understanding this, I believe, is true growth mindset.

One that is discerning, not naive.
One that is open, but not without boundaries.
One that is humble and teachable, but selectively.

Grow, but use the right light, soil and water.

Right growth.