Sitting on opportunity

It’s been one month since I started freelancing as a web / frontend developer.

It felt impossible before I started, and impossible when I did start. I felt very challenged learning new tricks – Typescript, Ruby on Rails, Docker, Git. Anxiety was at all time high the two weeks. Only now, after 1 month do I feel slightly more settled in as someone who codes professionally.

Truth is, this path as a professional dev was opened to me a few times before in the past two years, but I’ve never dared to take a step in. I always talked myself out of it, even when folks proactively DMed me to explore working together. I always say I’m not that kind of developer, I don’t know how to work in a team nor in an enterprise setting, my code is hacky, not following best practices, I only know Vue, blah blah…

I was scared.
I don’t believe I can switch careers yet again.
I’m too old for this.
So I talked myself out of it.

When you’re younger, it’s easy to underestimate how fleeting the days can be. Each choice matters. Each day matters.

When you’re older, it’s easy to underestimate how much opportunity you still have. Don’t talk yourself out of it. It’s never too late to start. – James Clear

I’m 45 now and I almost talked myself out of it again, but this time, my wife encouraged me to try. Plus with job hunting and design consulting going nowhere, I said “F it” and jumped. Now I’m freelancing as a frontend developer for 2 small tech startups, one in Germany, another locally in Singapore. Both gigs are remote and async, so it works for my life stage. They pay decently. And I’m grateful.

Sometimes opportunity comes when you get out of your own way.

Or rather… the door had been opened to me all along, right before me. Patiently waiting if I’ll take it. I just needed a nudge to take the first step through.

Life.