That lazy angry guy

Deep down there’s a lazy guy who just wants to chill in a nice air-conditioned room, eat snacks, drink coffee, and watch anime. In the mornings, he wants to sleep in, not get up at 5am to work. If he don’t get what he wants, lazy guy gets angry. Real angry. Blows up like a volcano. Throws a tantrum to get what he wants.

Every day it’s a fight against this version of me.
Every day I have to choose.

Choosing purpose over pleasure.
Discipline over dopamine.
Strength over stimulation.
Sacrifice over shortcuts.
Acceptance over anger.
Calm over cynicism.

Some days he wins.
Most days, I win.

So far.

But as this burnout prolongs, the looming danger is that he will start winning more.

The more tired I am, the weaker are my defences, and the more easily he can gain the upperhand.

Each day is a fight.

One day at a time.