The thankless task of being a mod

I’m an admin and moderator in quite a number of community groups. Despite being introvert. It mostly started from wanting to connect with and share more resources with one another in a niche topic. I’m no social butterfly to be honest, and I hate group politics and drama.

I assume most people want to be nice to each other.

But recently, there’s more drama in the groups, beyond the usual spam. People bringing in their private spats, mocking and disrespecting each other. Worse, some even use the group’s contact list and resources to distribute their own agenda… or vengeance, gossip.

Instead of being like a ban-hammer-happy Reddit mod, I try to be compassionate, give people a chance for words or actions done in the heat of the moment, no outright bans, speak to both parties, encourage them to check their attitude. But in the end, that’s often fallen on deaf ears, and they want me to ban each side. I’m trying to do the right thing and be fair to all, but no one is happy. And I’m not happy either, trying so hard for what’s at the root, frankly none of my business or related to the group or topic.

Such is the thankless task of being a mod.
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

I now see why Reddit mods end up being that way.

Why bother being kind? Just ban all parties involved and the problem goes away.

If this keeps up, I might really do that.

I want to be compassionate, but not at the cost of my own sanity and peace.

You bring me unnecessary drama, I’ll fucking ban your ass.