Turning 4

My firstborn turns 4. I turn 4 too, as a dad.

There were tough moments yes. But when I think back at the past 4 years, mostly pleasant memories float up. Memories of us having afternoon naps together. Heading out on weekdays. Cycling at the beach. Looking back, some thoughts on turning 4:

• Things are at a stage where it’s less hectic and I can feel more space. Son’s more independent, communicates well, getting smarter every day. This is the stage where most parents start to have the bandwidth to think about having another child. I am too, but a different kind. My $10k ‘baby’.
• The balancing act between being a dad and being my own person. I want to be a present parent, but I also don’t want to be the kind of a one-dimensional parent whom he grows up watching how I don’t have a dream for myself. I still have aspirations as an individual. I have a dream of hitting $10k business. I imagine us traveling as a nomad family. And I will work darn hard towards it. Maybe that’s something my son can role model to.
• And it’s not just my own dreams but also our dreams as a family. I wish to travel as a family. I wish to travel with my son alone. He’s older now, old enough that just 1 parent can manage on our own. Now’s a good time to daydream about having different kinds of experiences with my child. To show him this world he’s born into, and for my jaded eyes to see this world anew through his fresh eyes.
• Yet there’s always the tough question of how much am I kidding myself when I say “I’m doing this for the family” versus “My ambition is ruining my relationships with my family.” As always, the dosage mades the poison (or the medicine). Threading that line well will take all the powers of my organisation, prioritising, timeboxing, and focus.

Last year I wrote:

“Year 1 was a hazy, tumbling, bumbling, struggle. Year 2 was about finding our footing as a family, surviving. Is Year 3 the year where we all start thriving?”

I think Year 3 was indeed the year we thrived – us as parents and my son as a child. But in terms of finances, it was the opposite of thriving. I hope Year 4 will be the year we will grow steadily and safely, while we pick back up on the money and abundance side of things.

Onwards!