Wandergrief

It’s been 5 years since I travelled, and I forgot that wandergrief exists. But @lukehollis “travel is breaking” post reminded me of why I’m feeling disoriented after Melaka:

Each time I leave for fieldwork & return these days, I am increasingly fractured. In a delirium of jetlag in the bath, the mind wanders back through the cavities of the world. Travel is a breaking of the self from our established form, people, and spaces, that lets in the new, the wholly other.

Yes! There’s got to be a word to describe the feeling of disorientation, overall sadness, reverse culture shock one feels after coming back from a particularly transformative travel experience. I heard it gets easier to recover from emotional malaise if you recognise it and give it a name. So there.

I call it wandergrief, the aftermath of wanderlust.

I miss exploring a familiar place with fresh eyes. I miss creating new memories with the two most important people in my life right now. I miss the joy when I spoil the kiddo with ice cream (and we had them every day while on the trip!). I miss the early mornings when I’m hacking and writing in complete darkness while my wife and kid slept. I miss the sense of satisfaction having finished my work and kept my streaks even while on vacation.

Maybe in writing it out, it gets easier to process.

But best way to recover from wandergrief? Plan the next trip!

Maybe Bangkok in December…