Over-gripping
jasonleow • 5 Nov 2024 •
I used to rock climb back in university. I trained hard, I climbed hard routes, competed on national level. But I could never quite get past the nationals. I seem to underperform just when I need to. Later I found out, I was poor at managing expectations and pre-climb competition jitters, so I over-gripped on the hand holds, and pumped out too fast.
This isn’t a story about rock climbing. It’s a sequel to the story of me ranting about taking a decade to learn the lesson that being a trainer is not for me.
What happened is… since I’ve decided to drop that work, I’ve been pretty relaxed about it. I no longer over-prepare the day before. I follow my instincts and my decade of knowledge and reflexes. I’m less worried about people judging me because I’m already leaving. I leave my expectations at the door. I just respond to what’s needed, not exerting more effort than I need to out of anxiety, nor under-exerting by taking things for granted.
And I actually perform better, deliver better, teach better. I actually started to dread it less, and have more fun.
Fk me.
I’ve just been over-gripping.
Does it mean I’m going back to training? Hell no. I still don’t enjoy it, still rather not do it if I had a choice. But it does reveal that much of my pain and dread conducting training was my own doing.
Self-own, again.
Comments
@drodol Great question, buddy! 🫡 You know what, I might be over-gripping in indie hacking as well… still learning to manage expectations
How does over-gripping manifest in your indie hacking? What do you experience in this area?
“Over-gripping” is a great visual. I suspect many of us self-sabotage what we care about the most because we get too anxious about the results we want. It’s better to take a more relaxed, playful, curious, and confident attitude with our goals!
@drodol I think in my early days, the expectations (or naivety) of a product doing well, and the huge disappointment after when it doesn’t, is my “over-gripping” in indie hacking. Often I feel like quitting then. I got a better handle on it these days, but it still hits me, and I need some time to let it pass before I feel motivated to move on to the next thing.
@haideralmosawi Yes yes! Self sabotage is the word here. Totally unintentional, but still sabotage nonetheless. Being more relaxed and playful is easy with goals I don’t care about… applying that attitude to important goals is so hard!
What a powerful realisation, Jason. Can you see this “over-gripping” in other areas of your life as well?